all stuff are so cramping me today. shit! just enjoy the dreadful days onward.
found one video i like, recall my memory back to the first hi-fi + vcd player that my home ever had.enjoy the video..^^
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BMFXmiB-Hk&feature=related

"开田过港爬山岭"

SAT, bye...

yeah! finally it came to the end. SAT test is finished. throughout every wednesday in the 6 weeks of being passionate on doing the test, the old library is always filled with the extreme coldness like antarctica, the sadness, the unsatisfactory. in contrast, there will be some happiness exist as complement. today, the last test and the last scores i got, i am satisfied with that. SAT test seems not much important for me i think as i want fly in 2 years but not one. i live happily now.^^ not stress of the score like my friends did. there hall would be boisterous as a market? yea, should be. all people are talking and discussing SAt scores. what question right, what question get wrong, who is the highest marks all sort of that. that's why i don't like to be there.

well, instead of studying, we did played dota. and i found something which is strange? or could be said like you not really think of. i just realised my friend is studying dota!! wow! awesome. he does not seem such the person would be very passionate on game at this moment. be reminded next weekend will be the real SAT test. i really open my big eyes. i does not study dota even. not saying i am pro instead of saying me noob..ok then. dota is good for health actually...

so, i'm gonna to say "SAT, bye bye..^^"

the last SAt practice test eve..

it's pretty nice today. i could sleep till 8am. wow! feel fresh than ever.
i hope i could have this everyday. but for today because miss N absent for some reasons and i could have this kind of luck just for once, i think.
recover pretty much more than yesterday. yet, i still didn't have my appetite to eat.
i should be proud of myself today as i don't even fall asleep at ALL. gosh! even i stay back in intec great library till 6pm. donald trump said when somebody screws you, screw them back in spades. i like this quote and i should learn to use that.. haha..i mean my exam. screw back my exam...
my energy still haven't ran out. i continued with 3 matches of dota. though i didn't end up with victory, but satisfactory still been gained.
tomorrow will be the last SAT practice test. i am glad but i am still a bit anxious of that.
as mr gk said he got lower marks for sat because he slept late the night before.
okay! i should listen to a smart guy, perhaps it works. ....

oh! sucks!
vomiting plus diarrhea ruined me whole night. so unlucky. i don't know what's wrong. yet, i gotta symptom after eating nasi ayam at rumah terbuka by makcik dobi. i just felt like the aura inside my stomach keep on moving and lastly force the food out of mouth.*sigh* not once but more than trice, until nothing more can come out. i lost my feeling control on my entire body. i felt weak. muscle pain. people studying until late night, but me, suffering until late night.
luckily, i recover a little bit this morning. soon i recover more. perhaps my recovery rate is fast and now i feel better. some people may believe that i have met something unfortunate. i wonder. but i think maybe is the food problem.
yesterday night was a really true nightmare came through. i thought i would die. phew...i am still here right now.
well, had a hair trimming at sunway pyramid. instead of cutting short i have thinning my hair as i want to keep it long and long.
this few weeks will be the most busy weeks i ever have. SAT test following the radio drama, book review, and final exam just in a blink of eyes. much more things haven't been settle yet.


stay confidence even something bad happens.
i believe that it is just a bump on the road. it will pass. soon. hopefully.

crazy day again...

awesome day! is that awesome?
crazy i think is more perfectly describing.
after the nightmare, i should and i did cheer up myself again.
went to one utama with the one sporting friend as me as usual^^, initially for 2 movies. but ignored one for next time, perhaps.
not just for that purpose, only. we met my friend, ex-schoolmate. ya, girls. and one her cute friend. name Li Ai.....
maybe she is quite naive or childish or extrovert, or stupid? sohai? hehe..i don't know. overall she is quite affable and charming.
watching a movie--wheat 麦田. feeling great that whole theater hall just have about 10 people like last time i watched repomen. quite cold environment but not freezing.
we hesitate which bus do we want to take. waiting at the bus stand with no roof! it was raining. well, we did take the bus safely.

wow! let's the party non stop. we went sunway pyramid too. dropping by just have had our dinner. oh yeah! we saw cut above having some event there. hair cut just for rm10!! we think about it. maybe going to cut hair tomorrow. haha.

be mentally tough and never give up...

failure..

as i said, life is so unpredictable.
and life is so fragile.
yesterday i saw my midterm test result.
it turned me down.
very very down.
i failed.
i failed of reaching even 2.75..
failure depress me.
i got very depressed of my result, inside, hardly outside could be seen.
why? why?
i began to worry, anxious of my ugly result.
getting 2 point something is actually out of my will.
i don't really think i could not pass. out of my expectation.
suddenly, i felt the gargantuan pressure pushing me, pushing me so hard, nearly suffocated.
sad. i cried inside. deeply inside. bad feeling.
i felt shame, very shameful. all of my friends have passed, some with excellence. there's nothing i can say. i was envy of their nice result.
3.8 awesome. yes, my FRIEND, lee sin, she got it. i am happy with that. yet, i felt i am so poor.
having some advices from some lecturers that we should take the result as some kind of visual effect or something. after seen, just forget, focus on final exam. i take it as a consideration.
i think, think and think.
yea. it should be that.
i should start now. not yet too late. perhaps next exam i could pull back my gpa to the cut off point.
there's the nightmare marred me for whole day.
took a deep breathe and slept.


today, i seem a little bit more recover from the shock i got. i started to read my non-fiction book.
think big by donald trump and bill zanker.
i like a quotation"every failure is a step on the way to success ".
i feel more comfort now.
i would like to put more effort on finding the solution to excel my study instead of dreaming my nightmare.

enjoy life
do what feel good

mooncake festival...

Mooncake! eating mooncake now. has a sweet feeling with the great taste of mooncake, though it merely the normal favour that i used to eat every year. yet i am pleasant with it. this once in a year festival should be celebrated with some great events, like hanging lanterns around, having barbecue, eating variety of mooncakes, drinking the mild taste of tea, have chitchat with buddies, sharing happiness, enjoying the whole night with beloved....yet i study beyond my home now and i could not make this year. feel quite sad.
just eating a few pieces of mooncakes,, i cannot really feel the mooncakes festival. i can't get into the environment like enthusiastic toward celebration. it's so sororific in cendana here. very dark seems no light, no lanterns. everything is so dull.=.= *sigh*.
watching the moon for a while. bright. round. white with some yellowish. it is a perfect night to watch the moon, not a cloudy night luckily. but what for? nobody celebrates here, it seems a bit wasted.

well, been hibernate for such a long time. SAT test today really screwed me, exhausted having done with it. what a tiresome day!...sleepy plus a bit blurrish hauted me. *sigh*

tired
exhausted
lethargic
depressed

unknown again...

UNKNOWN.
what we live for? it's unknown. i consider it in my way.
some rush with time, simply just gain themselves wealthiness.
some burn themselves like a candle.
for me, i just move step by step, i can't even truly surmise my future. though i know what am i doing right now, but it's still ambiguous and obscure. unpredictable, right? this is life....
what we have done

i have put my effort on my English, incalculably. that's no jocularity. it's true. no games within these few days. however, unpredictable life still takes place. what score am i going to get in the next test? you know? if yes, you are the GOD.
i have read a few useful handout with myriad of lexicon. i used some already. hopefully i could really enhance my language usage. having no even little nap for this evening, i read the word list thoroughly, though it seems soporific. yea, it actually. i am quite pleasant now as i was not undaunted by the feeling of somnolent just now. i am not like a paragon of course.

a good night would help me to own my SaT test a better score, perhaps....

what's the feeling of back to school again after holidays?
well, i could say that i miss my holidays so much, i love it.
as usual, gonna wake up so so so early in the morning, it's 630 am actually. but that is considered impossible for me to wake up in holidays. meanwhile, i could still feel fresh of going to school. first day what! some people look different especially hair style, some still look ordinary.
oh no! i thought i have been pawned by math test already at first. i just got 70+. i quite down for a while, but recovered soon, as i realized that i have shown some improvement. perhaps this would be the adrenaline to boost up my confidence and continue my hard work on it. yeah! i should believe i can do it, i must!!

today might be considered as a good day? lucky day? or just a boring day? or even tiresome day of listening to the lecture and felt sleepy?
sometimes it's good that we don't have to do TOEFL practice, but at the same time it was too bored of doing nothing for 1.5 hours!! lame....

tomorrow would probably a "wonderful" nightmare for me...
wakakaka.......(devil's laugh)

skul reopen...

back to Shah Alam again. the holiday is still not enough for me, and i think is for everyone, perhaps. i still wish this holiday could be extended, though i did nothing at home, but i enjoy it. everybody seem have done with their dossier ready, this actually make me feel bad. but nvm. its okay!
tomorrow should be a better day. ya, i hope so. i hope i will not that sleepy anymore. HAHA. perhaps enough sleep plus a cup of nescafe would help..
.....................................
..............
.
.
.
.
2moroo will be best
yeah!
jiayou!!!

today...last night at home, before the hectic life start again...
what i hope now is that
i could pass my mid term test!!!
that's the one i worried till right now..
i hope my final exam would be better...
and yet still have my big assignment to carry on--radio drama...
i wonder what am i done in the holidays?
yea, enjoy myself of course without burden, though i have dossier and some preparation awaiting me, i procrastinate...that's me^^..

tomorrow would be pleasant and safe journey back to SA...

2 weeks of holidays almost come to the end...within these days, i think i have wasted a lot of golden time, though i am done a lot of activities with my precious time. went outing with family, visited auntie home, have a reunion day with best friends which we called our "family day"^^, gathered with friends, watched Resident Evil-after life, shopping, etc. i did all, and now eating mooncake..mmmm...yummy...variety of mooncakes has been bought. quite expensive but worthy..haha..

am i doing something? right now? at first i wanna do my my dossier for US uni application. yet, i got the feeling that i wont pass the cgpa 3.5! and i abandoned my working on dossier. i prefer to do next year. but i still guilty for it, for my decision. some of my friends have been done and they told me that they wanna have a try. who know they could fly in one year? and they told me to try too. but i thought it was so ridiculous for me to get that high marks, even in SAT test also and TOEFL. i know my level. i didn't have plan to fly in 1 year, although i wish to. since another friend told me that she didn't do dossier too, i just been convinced to do dossier next year. another case is my senior does his dossier this year also(his second year). i was more likely not to do anymore. until i went to school to seek for my missing past year test result, i was totally pissed off as the clerk said i have to wait until school reopen to get from teacher.*sigh* it is ought to be stopped. BUT....i still guilty now as i found my friend done. i am confused. yet, it come to end. regret can't help. however, i am still believe my RIGHT choice. perhaps i am a contented person, at least i could fly to US too after two years. all scholars can fly, but depend on timing, fast? or slow? i smile if i could pass above average, i don't mean to achieve 3.5, yet if get it, i ll be very excited. perhaps smile help me to pass. haha..

overall i am quite enjoyable within this holiday. i could eat sleep play as i want.
another one and half month of journey have to go. yet i start to think for the next holiday already. time fly. a lot of thing haven't done yet. SAT test, book review, radio drama, presentations, assignment, essays, and final exam!!!
do whatever satisfied me, that's good enough. :)

why? why all seem so troublesome huh?*sigh*
i have lost my form result, i mean school test. they might have been sent to recycle centre i think. i am not well-organized person previously and now too, i admit. i lost some of my former school test result too as i usually just simply put aside the single paper black ink printed poor result, and now i am getting trouble to find them out. *sigh*.
perhaps i have run through the school find out. hopefully, my former result data is still available in the server. if not, i wonder as if i could send in my dossier with no completed info. more trouble me is the matter to seek my former principal to get a simple but significant recommendation letter. i am just thinking that whether he recognize me or not, i am sure he really does not know me in details. so, the letter written in a *booming* way. i write, he sign? or he write and sign on his own?
i hope he will be available tomorrow for me and i could meet him. hopefully, i will not be lazy tomorrow to seek him.
dossier...oh dossier...you ruined me and ruin me now....

gathering...

11 sept, night, we have our friend gathering. what is actually stand for gathering? is that everyone must attend? perhaps, in my opinion. yet our gathering was not perfect, i didn't get the feel of *together* like last time when we were in secondary school. last night gathering was not getting into the climax of our friendship anymore. some were not there due to outing with family, some were not there because they just didn't want to been there. i didn't know why. maybe financial problem? yes, perhaps. maybe some personal problem? yes, it could be. that's why i feel like our friend gathering didn't complete, didn't unite. i appreciate those who went gathering, we have our time to share experience. but didn't have much to share. they are smart, they already know the answer. i sitting at the corner at the table. they just talked something that didn't touch on my nerve, i couldn't really get myself into the topic. i felt like distant with them. maybe i didn't really close with them once in secondary school. they are the gang which talk much about games and yet i didn't play the game. i didn't meet the point they chatted. i just could sit there and listen. yea, of course, i still have a friend to talk. shan wei who sat beside me. we share the same feeling which the gathering was perfect. the seat we have booked didn't fully occupied. though we been there very long time, but didn't talk much. what i wanted to know i knew already and in the same way they knew ours.

no wonder how yesterday's gathering be, i still not very pleasant with the feeling i got. i expected it would be more interesting instead, but i was wrong. unpredictable. many thing have changed, mutated. i didn't get the feeling that i got last year. someone just sit very far from me, far away. though i like that way, i could not get myself near to her. it's.........quite weird. maybe i am not the important for someone, even maybe i am just ordinary friend for someone, though i have been done my best ever for someone, no aware of. i was quite disappointed as if someone don't reply my text, it doesn't and i care. i am waiting for the reply and yet my phone doesn't ring. but others' phone rang. my sadness didn't flow out, but into my inner. go deep inside. i did as nothing happen. yea, nothing happened actually, i was just thinking too much.

however i still appreciate the gathering, and i think it's okay already as i won't expect too much....

i wish to enjoy my two weeks holidays. now it's already 7 days has gone. i don't start my dossier yet. i am wondering if i could do it next year if i don't plan to fly in 1 year. OSSP, please answer my call!!!!!

very excited and happy after having a great gathering. i consider it as my "family day", 4 of us--the fantastic 4 celebrate the happiness of coming back home. we went to the dearest cafe--Leboss, had our simple but delicious dinner. we share our life. time didn't wait for us. most of the thing has changed. yet our brotherhood is still being preserved, deep in our heart. indelible. we still the closest companion ever. it is no wonder why we have planned to go to somewhere else, just 4 of us only. not too many, not too least, just pretty enough. i like this way. i m sure they like it too. we share same idea. we have non-end topic to talk about. glass by glass of beverage were being ordered. haha. the boss always smiling there. few hours of chatting ends because of the call by my mum, calling me go home. i use to it, often.

holidays, i should be happy plus celebrate hari raya too. dossier again ruin my holidays. i found hard to search my past year result. yet, i decide not to do it this year but next year as my friend told me that if i am not gonna to fly in one year. i shocked and i happy again. i don't want to do the dossier thingy which annoyed me, especially recommendation letter.

just enjoy the limited holidays, yea...

i visited someone in village mall today who visited us in SP and end up in oldtown coffee shop. Zixiang was coming back just for a while. we have a lot of conversation among each other. we chatted we laughed we smiled we shared.....time is precious...we talked for almost 2 hours and he was in hurry to visit his cousin. well, we were happy to meet him again, though we have been far apart more than years. our friendship still there, still robust. hopefully, it won't change.
yea, now SP is getting more people to come back. we're gonna to gather at least once, i hope. it's usual that everyone share their experience and life and of course some have changed a lot without my awareness. such as their bf/gf..
first day driving after 2 months away from car, i enjoyed it...
tomorrow would be the fantastic 4 gathering+dinner and perhaps it'll not be ruined by some others...

feeling is by sense, indescribable.....

first day back home

my 2 weeks holidays doesn't mean i am free....yet, i will have my busy holidays instead. hanging out with friends, having gathering and so on. but i enjoy these ways^^...
after visited my aunt in Ipoh just now for my first day of holiday, now i am waiting for the next event. tomorrow? perhaps....life in sp is always nice, with car of course....drive my way....speed, i love it so much!...

reach home

reach home and go out again.
met my best friends, kboon and fook.
and now going to sleep of course
on my lovely comfortable bed....
^^

ways to home...

the feeling of going back home is keeping me so excited and i can't sleep until the late morning as i am too eager to go back to home. i have packed my luggage and seems very heavy but lighter i think compared to my roomies...home sweet home..hopefully, i have a safe journey with all my friends..

bye cendana

bye intec

bye shah alam

happy holidays and happy hari raya as well...
enjoy the days!!^^


before the hectic life continues its story.....

bye! mid term...

yeah!!!!!
mid term is finished finally..say "bye!" to my 2 month of midterm..^^ though worried, but i just simply forgot about it and end with a charming smile. :)
first thing first, i 'm gonna hang out with friends right the last test finished. everything were just putting in bag and head to mid valley...
although our journey was tiring and even got some delay from ktm, yet we all feel excited. watching "Piranha" was quite thrilling of the monster fish which had been extincted about 2 million years and now appear again. i was quite excited enjoying the scene of American beach vacation. wow! pretty nice, man...haha...
waiting for the time to go, feel nice to go home now........
gigantic lollipops found in one cocoa shop at the Garden Mall....

3rd exam eve#last night..last subject....

tonight is the most relaxing. it could be seen that everyone don't know what to study, perhaps. i am also in the same boat. flipping through the textbook, i found that there are more about our understanding. it depends on our hard work from previous, not the exam eve. the hard work will paid. yet, i didn't. searching in internet, looking for some idioms. phew, there are few thousands of them. it's so impossible to memorize, even 10%. ridiculing if someone could memorize all of them. but there is a possibility. well, reading is actually my weakest subject. sometimes, i can't read between the lines through the passages. i feel very tired of reading every time. maybe i am not meant to reading. but reality comes first. i should face it every day now.

sometimes, i dislike someone of acting like a big cheese. i agree with some my friends. i have been biting the bullet today. of course, nothing could not be more realistic than money. donation or sponsor is based on someone's willingness, not by order. this is an order! OMG! where is the democratic system have gone?*sigh* this is a sarcastic. there isn't pride or prejudice of someone. it is just an expression of me and those who share the same feeling.

tomorrow is the LAST day. every night before exam, i share different feelings. today i am not so anxious anymore. i have been going through the toughest adventure today--Pre-calculus test. i believe i could do well and i should do well tomorrow......

in so cold morning, i have finished my math test. i believe that i did my best, but not answer the best. i am still scared of being near the line of failure again. anyway, it was over now. okay, don't think about it. i just have my 3 hours of gaming and now i am a bit lazy and wanna fall asleep. tomorrow is the last day before raya holidays on. i am so excited and eagerly wish that the test tomorrow will pass soon. yet, i haven't started my revision on reading subject. i just think that i have no one fixed referrence to study and it could not be studied and cover all of them.it's impossible. because reading is actually based on our maturity of understanding and answering. what i know i just know, otherwise, i don't know everything.
now i just hope that time can pass in faster way to Saturday. i ll be on the way back soon......hopefully, i won't ruined by the result of exam after holidays...

enjoy!

2nd test eve#pre-cal night

now there is the night of Pre-Calculus. wow. such an enjoyable night WITHOUT gaming. it is sarcastic. we enjoy ourselves in the world that full of marvelous numbers and solution. yea, i am almost getting crazy right now. i feel like hanging on the space. you could see my head pop out a lot of stars. wonderful! awesome! on no!!!!! sleeping is the most effective way of escaping stress and difficulties as i have mentioned in my essay. i should take a good good rest for my mind and me, mentally and physically. if i am home now, i won't sit here right now and scribble stupid thing right now. my mum would definitely scold me and even pull off the plug of my computer. it's true of course as we usually need at least 8 hours of sleeping time per day. because our part of body need to rest too right. tomorrow test i should and i MUST score high than ordinary. since my first test had pulled my marks on math, i need to score this damn high, otherwise i 'll be dead.*sigh* let's pray again for the test tomorrow. Amittaba..




sometimes you looked cute with your new change.....i am looking forward for that^^

gosh! finally i finished 1 test and quiz as well. although i have worried about it last night, but i seem quite okay in doing both. i know what i am doing and what i have done. i am not saying that i am perfect of getting damn high marks. i would be happy if i can pass above average. i rather underrate myself to avoid much disappointment when the result comes out. i am quite happy with my essay writing today. why? yes, i have just get the*kick*--inspiration, to scribble an essay which i am quite satisfying with. yet, i have broke the record which be the first person of finishing the quiz. i am the second today after yoon chye. some of the questions are really pawning me down. i have respawned again now. i believe that if i don't know the answer for questions, i would definitely don't know in the end, even though i struggle so hard. that's my principle. so, i better get off the hall where filled with the cold aura that kept me frozen. well, i have to rest. watching movie is better for me i think. "ice kacang puppy love"-a product of film from Malaysia. it deepen my thought on we should appreciate the person beside you, especially someone. don't regret if one day they have left you and you still keep silence. perhaps someone will know too. life is so unpredictable.......


love someone who you love...