11 sept, night, we have our friend gathering. what is actually stand for gathering? is that everyone must attend? perhaps, in my opinion. yet our gathering was not perfect, i didn't get the feel of *together* like last time when we were in secondary school. last night gathering was not getting into the climax of our friendship anymore. some were not there due to outing with family, some were not there because they just didn't want to been there. i didn't know why. maybe financial problem? yes, perhaps. maybe some personal problem? yes, it could be. that's why i feel like our friend gathering didn't complete, didn't unite. i appreciate those who went gathering, we have our time to share experience. but didn't have much to share. they are smart, they already know the answer. i sitting at the corner at the table. they just talked something that didn't touch on my nerve, i couldn't really get myself into the topic. i felt like distant with them. maybe i didn't really close with them once in secondary school. they are the gang which talk much about games and yet i didn't play the game. i didn't meet the point they chatted. i just could sit there and listen. yea, of course, i still have a friend to talk. shan wei who sat beside me. we share the same feeling which the gathering was perfect. the seat we have booked didn't fully occupied. though we been there very long time, but didn't talk much. what i wanted to know i knew already and in the same way they knew ours.
no wonder how yesterday's gathering be, i still not very pleasant with the feeling i got. i expected it would be more interesting instead, but i was wrong. unpredictable. many thing have changed, mutated. i didn't get the feeling that i got last year. someone just sit very far from me, far away. though i like that way, i could not get myself near to her. it's.........quite weird. maybe i am not the important for someone, even maybe i am just ordinary friend for someone, though i have been done my best ever for someone, no aware of. i was quite disappointed as if someone don't reply my text, it doesn't and i care. i am waiting for the reply and yet my phone doesn't ring. but others' phone rang. my sadness didn't flow out, but into my inner. go deep inside. i did as nothing happen. yea, nothing happened actually, i was just thinking too much.
however i still appreciate the gathering, and i think it's okay already as i won't expect too much....
i wish to enjoy my two weeks holidays. now it's already 7 days has gone. i don't start my dossier yet. i am wondering if i could do it next year if i don't plan to fly in 1 year. OSSP, please answer my call!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment